i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
