Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
