Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
