She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
