He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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