Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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