I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
