he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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