how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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