I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
