On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
