You can't special order awesome
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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