Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
