Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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