i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
