FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
