dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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