Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
