So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
