How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize