You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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