Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
