She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
