she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
