I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
