Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
