im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
