Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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