idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
