i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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