you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize