im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
