The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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