Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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