You're completely useless in the revolution.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
