Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
