and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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