Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
