Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize