He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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