sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think people are normalizing furries
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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