Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you win again, gameday.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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