Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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