he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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