Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
