i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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