my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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