Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
