I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
