Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
