so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
