FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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