Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Mom said you looked used
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
