When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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