the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
