I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
