I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
