Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
God I need to hump something, right now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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