I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
