Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
