its not stalking. its research.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
COCAINE IS GR8
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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