Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
