Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
