The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
