if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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