you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize