I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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