As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
