went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
