everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
