I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
