grandma shit on top of the toilet
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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