I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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