I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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