So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
